Caught up

Caught up over dinner with a bunch of friends I used to work with. Some remain quite the same; some, like me, turned into another self.

As I mentioned, I could barely recognize myself as the person I used to be when I was little. I could never figure out whether it’s for the better or worse, but I do know I’m getting stronger little by little every day.

2 were observers, while 2 were more vocal. I talked a lot as usual, along with another sweet friend. From there, I realized no one is considered stronger or thoughtful than the other; we are merely individuals that possess the capacity to derive unique philosophies. We held different past, present, environment and culture, which is no wonder even our values are different. I’m learning not to force my philosophies, and only limiting them to sharing.

However, undeniably, no matter what or how will we eventually turn out, I’m glad all of us are strong, independent women.

The Show, by Lenka

I'm addicted. =3

Voice

Just came back from Scuba Diving theory class. It was fruitful, picked up a lot of tips and noted some important key points. Most of all, I picked out something that isn't just applicable to scuba dive, but to life.

People around you can only judge from how you appear to look; only yourself knows truly the situation you are in. Voice out, if you have to.

Many times, we expect someone else to read what we are thinking, what exactly do we want. Yes, I do agree our emotions are reflected through the expressions in our face, but it can only show so much. All of us have a mind of our own; if your childhood includes “Banana in Pajamas”, you probably know where you gotten the idea of mind-reading from.

 I’m not saying to hang an emotional tag around your neck, but when a certain conclusive decision is derived through our own unique philosophy, maybe it’s time to voice it out. Else, expecting a total fit of understanding will be seemingly unfair, to whoever it may be.

Building up myself doesn’t require to go by a certain type of book or rules. Little enlightenment through the simple paths I walk everyday aids me to grow and bloom. =)

Mutate

Once, a friend told me about the restart button in life… and I think I’m about to push mine down soon, completely.

Somehow in life, at one stage or another, you undergo this stale, stagnant experience… and you either tell yourself ‘that’s it, that’s just life,’ or you give it a total facelift.

Well… for that, I had experience quite a handful, which is the reason why I am today right now. Looking back, even only for couple of years, it really isn’t surprising that you might not even be able to recognize me. I changed so frequently, so much, that I just wonder who I am already sometimes.

But now no, this antsy girl still lives within me. The withdrawal symptoms from the constant change are slowly creeping into me. I sat down in a quiet space and try to reach out to the inner me… but it because too far-fetched. I haven’t even realized the distance had grown so far.

I was that girl who hid every single smile, who was ashamed to speak in English, who couldn’t even make out what happens next after high school. That girl who used to silently pray and wish that limelight would never hit her, and avoid every single chance to speak. Think of a friend of yours
whom you never understand why they never speak, and that would be me.

And about who I am now? The total opposite.

From the fluency of English, you could never tell I came from a family who barely speaks it. And that being said, I never spoke well of myself, even that would be the fact I believe in. Not for the sake of being humble though, but believing yourself able to live up to a certain standard probably brings you a harder fall when either the facts of truth hit you, or you deteriorate. You may say it’s signs of insecurities, but to me, it’s just me.

Yesterday I took a stroll home after running some errands. I stared into the sky, and felt a swarm of nostalgia. I thought change was good, but subconsciously I defaced myself. I mourned for my loss, which in irony it’s a gain according to many. Which I was totally submerged into my thoughts during the walk, my feet brought me in front of the crossroad. I then realized I had to choose between someone the society loves, or myself.

Trust

Trust is an important element in relationships. Even thought needed in every sort, romantic ones are especially.

My parents brought me up and guided me my first step.

The brother I grew up with runs the same blood within my veins.

My friends, though, share joys and woes, left me with ample personal space.

A romantic relationship, however, is talking about how you have to spend the rest of your life with someone that pops into your life at unexpected... or expected moments. It may be your current friend, it may be a second degree friendship, or it may just be a stranger you took the same train with everyday. I haven’t seen cupid, I have no idea what his mood might bring you into. So, right here, we are talking about handing your entire fate into someone else’s hands, someone you used to barely know. Trust, this essential element is the antidote to maintaining a positive relationship.

 And one thing for sure about myself, is that I have an issue with trust. My invisible walls are built up so high that you probably need a ladder to climb over those obstructive barriers.

Yet the kind of relationship I am in right now is surviving solely base on trust.

Have you ever treasure a fate so much that it gives you the strength to forsake certain reality you learn to know? You know even thought dark thoughts will eventually swam up, but you chose to keep them in whichever tiny corner you can find in your conscious and pretend it never exist, at least for the so long as it last?

It wouldn’t be me if I haven’t triple check on a piece of information, but right now I haven’t pop a single question, or even requested an elucidation. I constantly dug into my heart and pump in fuel that keeps my inner strength for trust, and silently pray that everything will turn out okay.

Someone once spoke the cliché phrase “love is blind,” you gotta believe every single letter. For all you may know, I may not be too far from my breaking point, but for every single moment I spent despite the callings of guilt, the word regret never surfaced.

Perception

The light you are seeing things from strongly affects the matter you perceive.

Admit it, everyone is a judgmental being. We grew up from an environment teaching us how to differentiate right from wrong, to say thank you after receiving a present. When you did not, you are rude, even though you appreciated and thank silently in your heart.

Have you ever wonder the feelings of a third party of a relationship or a vengeful murderer, other than being stereotypically judgmental, pointing fingers and commenting it’s just politically wrong? How about asking yourself, if it was you, do you even have the guts to commit such act?

Are you mentally strong enough to go for something you really want? Or are you capable to go all lengths for something you deem unjust? You might be unable to, but I did not judge you. So, think again- why are you judging people whom have totally no relations to you?

A third party of a relationship may love, and willing to fall into an affair that may result in consequence most can’t bear. This is foreseeable, yet they are willing to give it all away. For courageous decision, I give admirable respect, but can you see from the light I see?

Someone kill you father, be it a burglar who accidentally put a knife though his stomach or a deliberate murder, are you capable to turn this vengeful woe into a revenge? Even given a chance that this person is put in front of you armless, and a deathly weapon is in your hands. Such favorable situation, are you capable to end this life by holding the thought of your father?

I’m not commenting which is right from wrong, but some strengths in certain complex situations are worth admiring and to learn from. You may be dismissed by the idea as matters like this are politically wrong. But once you see beyond the surface, these are actually valuable lessons if you channel these strengths into other areas.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking the world is the well, just when you are the frog in the well because that was all you could see. But when you are brought out of the well, keep an open-mind when you see beyond what you normally know. Similar, do not look down when you see another being in a well living inside your well, because you never know who else might be laughing at you from the well which you well is situated.

See things under different light, you might just be pleasantly surprised by what you may gain.

Newly Dyed Hair (from Cuttour Studio)

I understand my blog is reeeeeally stagnant for a damn damn long time. And you guys shouldn't mark my words when I promise to blog regularly. Seems like I already am having problem catching up with my daily life routine.

But nonetheless, blogging is a healthy habit, 'cause voicing out to life human beings involves some kinda different opinion, and some opinions are unnecessary, and maybe opinions shouldn't be needed at all at some cases!

Like, how I wan to brag about my newly dyed hair fresh from Cuttour Studio's oven.

Many camwhore-ed photos.

I wanted to dye my roots to the colour I originally had, but Janet mentioned the colour sorta faded already, and would need to freshen up the whole thing. Well, I deem her knowledge more professional than mine, so I did what she recommended.

And yah, my original hair colour.

Quite a big difference, ehh?

Alright! Will try my best to blog more... Wanted to say mark my words, but owells. =)

Life's already unpredictable, so what's more can I say about myself?

Halloween Photos!

testing the photo uploading function. =)

Youtube Video: Sesame Street-- Outdoors with Jason Mraz

I know I know... I haven't been blogging for a long while!

But hey wait! This clip is tooo amazing to miss.

I love Jason Mraz. =)

And Elmo and all the other monsters. XD Who says monsters can't be cute?

Studying at KFC @RP!

This post is very late, but nonetheless, Imma post it up! 'Cause class for next semester is starting soon, and I'm dreading it... (Weird Mooo is looking forward to it. -.-)

Photos up!

Mooo is studying while...

I'm cam-whoring. Haha.

Studying studying studying...

 

And he doing that is getting me gancheong...

And for now, the funny photo after studying tooo hard...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

Haha! And the history shall repeats itself again & again for all other semester. XD

Love is Just Like Career...

I'm lying on my bed, typing this entry at 3am in the morning. My body clock always don't work when I ain't working.

Sometimes I feel that one's career path is just like one's love life.

You remember how u feel when you just got to know love you were full of hope and always feeling so vibrant? And every cute boy that walk past u thought to yourself, is he the one? You watched every cheesy taiwan/jap/korean drama and imagine yourself as the main leader, while awaiting your prince charming to appear and sweep your feet away.

You were so positive.

As time passed and you gotten into your first few relationship, you started to see that reality ain't anything like fairy tales, love stories ain't as dramatic as serials, and flaws ain't cute at all. Worst of all, some were seriously hurt when their love got betrayed.

When you grew a little older, clearer picture started to form and you realised, what happen in fairy tales, remain in fairy tales. You needed a soul-mate, not unrealistic drama main lead. You draw out a few main criterias which mattered more to you, and started to look out for decent guys. Just when you thought it was a huge jump from Dan Humprehy to a boy-next-door, you realised that, even the boy-next-door is weird. And then you got all freaked out & thought instead, you were weird.
You striked out more & more criterias, yet none seems to match. Those you like, never called back. Those that called back, you know it's just 'cause the rest that they called didn't pick up. Then you thought, should I just downgrade and pick anyone instead??

After years and years and all your friends are in long term relationships, you never had anyone by your side. Your self-esteem hitted rock bottom, and you started to plan for alternatives, like getting a condo 'cause u can never get a HDB being single.

*to be continue, 'cause I have yet to found out the ending. =)*

Cute stuffs!

Bought some stuffs in town yesterday and today! Sooo excited about the cute stuffs that I gotta blog about them tonight! Even though I'm already so goddamn tired, plus I haven't bathe yet... =x

 

Cute????? Haha.

I bet most of you have seen it before, but I don't think all of you know that, you can sit on them!! Yes! Like a stool! I'm sitting on Mickey Mouse right now 'cause I like him the least and and he's black, so I don't have to worry about getting him all black, 'cause he's already black... I don't know if that make sense. Hmm.

 

Stitch for Mooo's clothes,

Pooh for my sweaters,

Mickey for my heavy jeans.

Gotta do those 'cause my lousy Ikea wardrobe is pretty overloaded with our clothes, and it seems like it's gonna crash anytime.

Remember my Metoo bear bear pouch Kimmy posted some time back?

My mum bought the miniature Metoo coin pouch version! Sooo cute!! And she didn't got any for me! Ahh!!

                                                      

 See them side by side. Sooo cute!

And guess what is this?

And no, I'm not an idiot. I also know this is Eeyore. I mean literally, what is this??

 

A pen! You can never guess that, can you? =P

Plus another cutie pen. xD

I've got more cute things!

But damn, I need to clear up my room soon...

Appreciate... Just for You. =)

Was going through my old posts to amend and delete those inappropriate ones, then I found a half-done entry. Wanted to write something special for my soul-mate, but guess words couldn't really form so I saved and decided to do it some other time.

And then it got forgotten.

Isn't these cycles annoying?
You read something touching that reminded you to cherish/appreciate people and simple things,
You decided to do something special to show your appreciation...
Then you did them half-way, got stuck, then abandon them.
Then you rattered through your stuffs again some time later and found them, feeling all guilty and regretted not finishing what you had started.
... And then you decided you have no time, chunk them somewhere more conspicuous so that you will remember and follow up...
Then you forgot and it will be held indefinitely.

Right now I'm at the feeling all guilty & totally regretful part. =x
So instead of risking the possibility of holding it indefinitely, I am gonna finish it up now. =)

***************

Maybe our first look on each other doesn't feel like love at first sight,
But now when we see each other, we are sure we want to spend the rest of our life together.

Maybe you look nothing like Hollywood movie stars,
But there's nothing else in this world that caught my eyes like you did.

Maybe sometimes I couldn't even make out what song you are singing,
But it doesn't matter, 'cause it went straight to my heart instead of passing through the ears first.

Maybe sometimes I give a you hellava time...
But I want you to know, I never meant do.
It breaks my heart tooo, and I'm sorry.

Maybe sometimes things between us seems like they are never gonna work out fine,
But they always eventually do, and I'll never give up.

Maybe we didn't have the chance to go through as much ups & downs as those who had been seeing each other since Secondary Schools,
But no matter what might happen in our future, I will never leave you, unequivocally.

And now, no more maybes, no more buts,
I love you indefinitely, unassumingly, relentlessly.
I've chosen to be yours, & I want you to be mine.
And I know you will agree. =)

Avatar. BEST. MOVIE. EVER.

Seriously, BEST. MOVIE. EVER. I can even say that it's better than Transformer!

I haven't watch that much movies, but within those genres that I do watch (by that it means no horror & gore), it is the best in terms of visuals effects, stunning graphics, phenomenal scenaries, and storyline.

Well, not exactly I would say it's way beyond our imaginations... (like it just seems like a tropical rain forest with horses, rhinoceros, plants, trees, dragons...), but about the network of electrons that link the whole Pandora, it's just brilliant!

And I do some resemblance of the avatars to surrogates... do you?

Anyhow, this is simply a show worth watching. To choose spending $10 on Avatar or Paul Blart Mall Cop, I would say the decision to make is tooo obvious.

Ah Bon's Birthday!

Saved these photos for waayyy tooo damn long!

Gonna blog about my bro's birthday! Candles blowing session!

Gotten his chocolate cake from Breadtalk!

Mama preparing the cake while the boys... Sigh. Lazy Males.

Birthday Boy!

Erm. This photo was retaken again cos my dad insisted that the cake look better with the mushroom toothpick holder. Godknowswhy.

Bday boy with my specs on!

Seriously, he need to know his angles well.
That was a serious bad angle.

Finally!

He did that when I told him to sit up straight.

Decent photo...

Singing his song... (He looked so happy! xD)

Blow...

Cut cake...

Happy Birthday!

And yum!

Next year's gonna be tough for him, with NS and all.

Well, gotta wish him a good year ahead and blessings shower from everywhere!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AH BON!
JIE JIE LOVES YOU! xD

Messed Up. BMS Ever!

I have to blog about this, even though I'm all ready set to sleep and all. It's the worst experience I had with cinemas and movies. Worst. Experience. Ever.


I already had planned to watch Princess and the Frog at Cineleisure with my mum today, so since I was gonna be in town on Thursday (which was yesterday), I decided to get it there instead of booking it online. 'Cause 1, it was cheaper with UOB card and 2, you though it would be safer to get them OTC instead, wouldn't you? Just in case anything were to happen to the transaction done online.

While I was on my way to Cine yesterday, I realised I didn't have enough money inside my UOB account (I was using a Debit Card). I was at Heeren, and I couldn't figure out where is the nearest UOB Cash Deposit machine, so I decided to give it a miss and hope for the best that there is still available tickets the next day. I looked over to the POSB ATM machine at Heeren whilst waiting for the green light at the traffic junction and thought to myself,

"If I know where is the nearest UOB Cash Deposit machine, I'll draw the money out now."

And then I crossed the road and realised there was a hugass UOB full working banking branch.

-.- I hit myself hard on my head and crossed back.

And then I crossed back to UOB, then crossed another 2 traffic lights at the junction to get back to Cine to buy tickets.

Confused?

In short, I had to crossed 5 traffic lights to get the tickets! And you thought it was all worth it.

Today, I rushed my ass off through shopping cos I was freaking excited about the movie! C'mon! Admit that it is so rare to have 2D Disney Princess movie nowadays.

I got there, Cathay staff let me in, I went to the seats...

Then I realised they were already seated by somebody else.

Fair enough, must be seated wrongly. I talked to them politely, asked for their tickets for confirmation once again.

Then we realised of our tickets got the same seating.

Fuck up. I took their tickets, went to the admission staff...

And then I realised mine were dated on Saturday!

You thought going through all these effort were worthwhile! Some arsehole that sells tickets hatta mess them all up! How unlucky can one get??

I admit it was my mistake that I didn't do a thorough check, but reeeally? Of all people me???

Man... I just need to complain about my luck. Maybe the lucky thing is I managed to Mossan at Mos Burger, and a hat & ankle length boots at Mng sales. At least there's smth to make my day.

And also had Dim Sum with Mooo, whole family & Ah Ma!

Shall post about Dim Sum again next time. =)

*anticipating impatiently for morning to come, for KFC breakfast(!)*