advices, suggestions, criticisms or just plainly views.

may others' views ain't that impt after all...

alright, i admit i do already care less about wat others think of me, but some things you just wana hide deep down inside you, hoping no one would ever find out.

like maybe...
how my childhood friend and i stole that cranking magic toy from 7-11 and lied to everyone cos we made a new friend there and the staff gave it to us.
how i pretend drop my pri sch friend's pen while she wasn't watching, and pick it up later and put it in my bag, like it was mine.
how i shoved that veggie under the sofa, and how i couldn't react when i got caught.
how my dad found out i threw rice outta the window, and the speechless moment when he pointed downstairs to our neighbour's clothes hanging out there, with my half eaten food.

ok, i said them already. i know people are gonna say it's ages ago, but nobody likes to be reminded of the most awkward situations we all have, at least once.

and maybe not just those. like things that you believe in totally, and others just slap right into your face to tell you to wake up. not just telling you they were wrong, but probably tell you how stupid you were in the first place to believe and do such things.

like...

if you were christian, people tell you you were obsess.
if you were buddhist, people tell you they were fake.
like you love that tote bag, but people tell you how gay you looked with it.
like how fat people made up their mind to lose weight, but you twig out there just put them down and say it's impossible. and when they give up trying, you try to say how easily they give things up.

sadistic people are just everywhere.

ok, here i am putting people down who puts people down.
i hate people who judges tooo much, like they were some form of god who has the right to criticise. (and ya, i'm not a contestant in americal idol.)
and i know, i'm just being judgement at people who judges.

i dun wana be a photocopy of anyone of you out there, so please, advices are gladly accepted and will be taken into serious considerations. don't force thought and thinkings. i'll take that as we're the same poles, and like poles repel. probably me repelling you, technically speaking.

this is my fucking blog, and smtimes with those comments... i still feel the need to cater my every entry to the big picture.

like i shouldn't curse and swear.
like i shouldn't proclaim my love tooo much.
like you dunno wtf i'm blogging about.
like there isn't any tagboards.

and for god's sake, isn't it obvious, i dun need any comments from you. why would i need a tagboard for?

and i still emphasize, advices and suggestions are gladly accept. criticisms? please apply for a position is wateva idol competition you see on tv. i'm not contestant of any sort, and no judges needed here.

c'mon, scoff at me like i'm some kinda alien.

happy one month, darling.

†oge†her.™ says:
Darling.. we are together for a month.. wad a month!! my love for u are growing gradually before even we start. this r/s!
just wanna tell.. u're the best girl i ever met. i thank god and tua pek gong for giving me this chance to know u. from friends.. we have become lovers.. my love for u is growing everyday. i cant imagine life w/o u. u have already became a part of my life. I LOVE U darling..
†oge†her.™ says:
happy 1 month anniversary !
jasMiNe says:
looove you.


†oge†her.™ says:
i really love u darling
†oge†her.™ says:
love love love love u till i cant see myself at times
†oge†her.™ says:
how?
jasMiNe says:
wat is cannot see yourself?
†oge†her.™ says:
meaning..
†oge†her.™ says:
u are the proprity in my life
†oge†her.™ says:
u are everything
†oge†her.™ says:
i took better care for den to me at times
†oge†her.™ says:
*u


happy one month, darling. =)

what ifs.

images of what ifs keep flashing.

what if i chose not to take the initiate to contact my cousin.
what if i chose not to go out after the 1st movie-hancock.
what if i chose to walk away when my cousin pissed me off when he told me you were working till late and we had to wait for you.
what if you were pissed with me shouting over the phone and decided not to come.
what if i didn't come for the last min ktv.
what if i chose another suitor.
what if i chose to remain single.
what if i wasn't in my best shape.
what if i was still in citibank and had a busy job.
what if i still remain punkish.
what if i decided that boys ain't for me.

what if the girl decided to pick you.
what if you decided to go after the pretty girl in poly.
what if you didn't choose to like the other girl when the cute girl like you.
what if you didn't ask for my msn.
what if you decided to stop when we can't handle our first conversation well.
what if you decided i was the same usual fierce girl when you see in the first meeting.
what if you decided that i wasn't tall enough.

wo cai yi dian jiu cuo guo ni.

i hate tears. i think it's unneccessary and redundant situation to be handled. but everytime you dedicate a song, care so much, did so much, love and miss so much, i can't bear to remind myself what if all these becomes memories.

what if one day you decide someone else was better.
what if the feeling was lost.
what if we run out of words.
what if darling and sweeties dun sound the same as before.

i already start missing when you held my hands and sang. it is barely 24hours.
i can foresee my heart being rip apart, be it physically or mentally, like how lions rip the baby lambs, fleshes torn, some bloody bits in their mouth, some rotting pieces on the floor, wasted.

i can feel the weight on the shoulders.
i felt my brain bursting.

maybe never is better, maybe it's smthing that will never happen again.

miscellanious photos.

gonna be a boring entry.

fucking high at my chemical romance's concert. the queue was fucking long at the free standing. fucking lucky i took the seats.

why i curse so much? cos gerard swore like it's just inborn.

*ahem* was it last year's or the year b4 last's xmas? man, i just couldn't rmb. i only rmb i caught this glimpse of humongous tree with weisheng outside vivocity.

my fav converse sneakers, in super huge size.

i need my fav scent smtimes b4 i doze off.

to celebrate tian's bday at the early part of this year.

i love you tooo.

†oge†her.™ says:
i've given all my feelings, heart n soul, my time, effort, my sleeping time to u! u are now my priority in everything. eveything comes after u.. i never never loved someone so much before. i love u.
†oge†her.™ says:
i love u with all my heart, darling. =)

=)

random

i'm a girl with bruises and cuts,
tooo many wounds, tooo many past.
a tattered world that was badly torn,
terminal to collusion was what i saw.

it wasn't pretty,
it was far from okay.
disappointments after disappointments,
'til the end of the day.

i kept this thinking close to my soul,
yet more and more it overflow,
one day i told my friend my perception,
she laughed and laughed and thought it was senseless.

i tot he might jeer, yet not even a sneer,
even thou' he didn't agree with wat he hear.
no criticism, no harsh judgement,
just slow and gentle intervention.

i slapped myself to stop dreaming,
cos the sky haven't even start dimming,
as glimpse of light start appearing,
tt's when i know how much i love him. =)

8, 9, 10

you feel honeylikenotsugary sweet, blissedwithcoke child, fluttery hearts, feetsoff ground...

=)

influential decision.

when you have 100 suitors, there'll be 101 options.
staying single would be the most reliable, least heartaching and most dependable one.
rarely, and almost never, of the rest of the options would add up to weight enough percentage to make any influential decision.
and nope, totally of several options are not allow, else you'll be thrown to jail.

toys

when i just join the school, i was pretty happy 'cause teacher gave me a welcome gift. it wasn't exactly very pretty, but it came to grew on me. but when i just started to feel comfortable with its presence, my teacher told me it has to leave 'cause another new kid came in, and i had to give it up. for the toy's sake, for the new child's good.

my classmates saw me unhappy, gave me a toy to substitute. well... it was ugly to begin with. but its free and it wana be mine... so why not?

when sch ended, pretty mary who lived next door gave a another toy. she told me she thinks the toy suits me and we will be happy together. i liked it, and gladly accepted it. i feel comfortable with it presence, but not sure how will i feel again if it's been taken away from me.

and then i woke up. i asked myself, why ain't they toys which permission will be granted to own many?

stainless steelsss

choose a day.
take the sharpest knife from the kitchen. peel open the one who had been sleeping beside you for the past hundred years. you might just be surprise to find him made of stainless steels which don't just don't rust, but cold and emotionless as well.

yet he appeared blood and flesh. scary huh?

well, things happen, dun they? probably you won't know till the skin thins and the metal starts to show.