damn the fuckers

i'd be expecting lotsa calls today.

calls to put me down.
calls from kpos.
calls to laugh at me.

dumbo. yes. i did join PPS2. c'mon la. wat's there to laugh about or ashame of. i didn't go anything bad. i just went for my dreams. though it's not exactly wat i wanted, but i always love music. you won't know if you ain't my friend, so fuckin' shut up for those who say i go for fame.

*ring ring*
feli: oei! you participate in PSS issit? my biao ge (cousin) said he saw you on the commercial.
me: oh. issit? i'm not in front of the telly right now. (fyi: i was in front of my com.)
feli: REALLY AHH? wha!
me: ... yah. wat's wrong? you called me just to ask tt?
feli: *giggle* hee. nth la. just kpo ma. ok bye.
*hang up*

sorry feli, but i felt i just received a call from a bimbo. moreover having to go though so much effort just to know if i was on tv. c'mon la, biao ge. you gave me enough trouble when you called me while i was working, asked about n73 for at least 15min, arguing with me to lower the price. it's a opportunity cost to talk to you and lose so many customers. (sorry huixin to left you busy-ing alone in the shop.) and the best part is he won't even feel paiseh.

frankly speaking, i know feli was like that. that's her. but having a friend to call just to ask about that and not even concern by the fact that i was even disappointed by the result. not even a word of concern. i was contemplating to catogerize her in the true friends or fair weather friends.

i know there are ppl out there mocking me. saying it's sucha throw face thing, no talent still go there dunno y etc. though it's not exactly wat i wanted, but at least i have my interest. i have my dreams. i dare to pursue. i didn't even laugh at you for not having dreams, so stop your gossipy stuffs.

honestly, it's kinda affected me. i dun believe if sucha thing happen anyone out there will not be affected at all. it did put me down, but only a while. thank you toot for having faith in me.
i made a blunder. i am not not can't sing. i did not not practise enough. i'm not those kind who will blame fate, blame luck, blame tons of things. it went wrong, i did not expect anything much. if i feel like i might try again next year, i might not. things just happen and time cannot be turned back nor errors can be undone.

wateva it is, i believe in myself, and i thank those and believe care and accept me.
(damn the others.)

-eMiLy